For many of us, talking about dying feels uncomfortable — even frightening. It’s one of those topics that often gets put off, sometimes until it’s too late. But what if starting the conversation could actually make things easier, not harder?
This Dying Matters Awareness Week, we’re joining others across the UK in encouraging open, honest conversations about death, dying and grief. The 2025 theme — The Culture of Dying Matters — is about how all of us, from different communities and backgrounds, experience the end of life. It’s also about what unites us: a need to feel heard, respected, and cared for.
Despite how universal death is, it remains one of the least talked-about topics in many families. Even professionals sometimes find these conversations difficult to begin. But avoiding the topic doesn’t protect us — in fact, it can make things harder when the time comes.
At Unique Senior Care, we support people and families through some of life’s hardest moments. Here’s what we’ve learned about why talking about dying matters — and how it can change everything.
Why conversations matter
When someone is approaching the end of their life, their wishes, routines and values don’t just disappear. In fact, they often matter more than ever.
Yet too often, families find themselves second-guessing: Would Dad have wanted to stay at home? Did he want visitors? Should we have tried to keep going with treatment?
Without these conversations, it can be difficult to know what the person truly wanted — and that uncertainty can stay with families for a long time.
Here are five things people often tell us they wish they’d talked about sooner:
- Where the person would prefer to spend their final days
- Whether they’d want to be resuscitated or hospitalised
- Who they’d want around them — and who they might not
- Their thoughts on spiritual or religious care
- What ‘comfort’ looks like to them — silence, music, company, or space
Even just saying, “If I were very unwell, I’d want…” can give clarity and peace of mind when the time comes.
Conversations like these don’t have to be formal. Often, the best time to talk is when care is first being arranged, or when someone expresses uncertainty about the future.
No ‘right’ way – just your way
The way we talk about dying is shaped by our culture, beliefs and personal experiences. Some families are very open. Others prefer to focus on the here and now. Neither is wrong.
Some people talk openly about dying and even joke about it. Others find it too painful and prefer not to dwell on it. In some cultures, families take the lead in decision-making. In others, the individual’s voice is paramount.
We understand that everyone brings their own pace and comfort level. We train our teams to pick up on cues — not to push, but to invite. If someone wants to talk, we listen. If not, we hold that space for when they’re ready.
There’s no one right way — just the importance of listening, asking, and adapting care to what feels respectful.
The Caregiver’s role — quiet support, honest words
Our Caregivers often find themselves gently guiding conversations — or simply being there when someone decides to talk. It might be during a cup of tea, or while helping someone into bed.
Caregivers might gently ask questions like:
- “Is there anything you’d like us to know about what matters to you?”
- “Would you like to talk about anything today?”
Often, it’s not about having the perfect words — it’s about being present, listening, and letting the person lead.
We also recognise that these conversations can be emotional for our team, too. At Unique, we encourage reflective practice and provide ongoing support so that Caregivers feel confident and cared for, as they care for others.
“In our experience, initiating conversations about end-of-life care early allows for more personalised and respectful support, ensuring that our clients’ wishes are honoured.” – Helena Hitchcox, Operations Director
Planning ahead for peace of mind
It’s not always easy to talk about the future. But when families have discussed wishes, values, and what matters most, it helps make decisions with confidence and care.
This is often called advance care planning — but you don’t need a formal process or paperwork to get started. Even a chat at the right time can make a world of difference.
Planning ahead might include:
- Where the person would like to be cared for
- Who they’d want nearby
- What treatments they’d want — or not want
- Preferences around faith, music, or setting
There are a few common myths around advance care planning. Some people think they need a solicitor, or that talking about these things will “tempt fate.” Others believe it’s only necessary for people in hospital or at a certain age. None of these are true.
In reality, planning ahead is simply a way to make sure that your care reflects who you are. And it’s something that can be revisited as your needs change.
If you’d like to explore this more, Hospice UK and the NHS both have helpful resources. Or feel free to speak to your local care team for support.
We’re here when it matters most
Whether someone is approaching the end of life, or simply thinking ahead, we’re here to support families in a calm and respectful way. Talking about dying doesn’t have to be morbid. It’s about love, respect, and making space for what truly matters.
If you’re not sure where to begin, try something small: a question over a cuppa, or a note written down quietly for later. You don’t need to say everything perfectly. You just need to start.
And if you’d like to know more about how we support families through end-of-life care, we’re always here to talk.
Chloe joined us in early 2024 as our content manager. Having earned a first-class degree in digital marketing and spending more than six years in public relations, she’s well-placed to shape informative content and heartfelt stories that help inform our clients and connect them with the care they need.
Having worked across a multitude of different industries before care, Chloe’s passion lies in the meaningfulness of her work – from creating content that guides clients through their care journey to helping Caregivers find a rewarding new role.
At Unique, Chloe finds fulfilment in our supportive culture and the heart-warming stories from both clients and carers that highlight the impact of our services.
