Personal care at home

You'll be supported by a small team of familiar carers, depending on the type and amount of care you receive. This means personal care is provided by people you know and feel comfortable with, rather than having to get used to someone new each time.

We spend time matching you with carers who we think you'll feel at ease with, taking into account your needs, preferences and personality. As they get to know you, they'll also learn the little things that matter, from how you like your morning routine to what you'd prefer to manage for yourself.

Our carers treat personal care as exactly that: personal. They'll explain what they're doing, ask before helping and respect how you want your care to be provided.

When helping with washing, dressing or toileting, they'll protect your privacy, keep you covered as much as possible and give you time rather than rushing you. They'll also encourage you to do whatever you can comfortably manage yourself, stepping in only where you need help.

As your carers get to know you, they'll learn the routines and preferences that help you feel comfortable, from how you like to get washed and dressed to the toiletries you prefer to use.

This is something we understand can feel very uncomfortable at first, particularly for someone who has always been independent.

We won't simply arrive and take over. Before care starts, we'll talk about what Mum or Dad is finding difficult, what they're happy to have help with and what they'd still like to do for themselves. Their carer can then introduce support at a pace they're comfortable with, whether that's simply being nearby while they shower, helping with one part of getting dressed or providing more hands-on care.

Having a small team of familiar carers can help too. It means they can build a relationship with the people supporting them rather than having to explain their preferences to someone new each time.

Yes. You don't have to receive every type of personal care just because you need help with one thing.

For example, someone might be completely independent throughout the rest of the day but no longer feel safe getting in and out of the shower. Their care can focus on the help they actually need, while leaving them to continue managing everything else they comfortably can.

We'll talk through the wider situation before care starts so that the right level of support can be arranged.

We'll review the care and adjust the support when someone's needs change.

That might mean gradually reducing the help someone receives as they recover after an illness or hospital stay. Or, if washing, dressing, toileting or moving around is becoming more difficult, we can look at whether they need additional support.

Carers can also pick up on changes during their visits and raise concerns with the wider care team, rather than leaving the family to notice and manage everything themselves.

We wouldn't want personal care to become a battle. The first step is to try to understand why someone doesn't want help.

They might feel embarrassed about being undressed in front of someone else, be frightened of falling in the shower, dislike being rushed or simply want to feel that they're still in control. Dementia can also change how someone understands or responds to personal care.

A carer can take things gradually, offer choices and work with the person's usual routines rather than forcing the issue. Sometimes that might mean trying again later or starting with the help they're most comfortable accepting.

If someone living with dementia is regularly refusing to wash or finding personal hygiene difficult, our separate guide looks in more detail at why this can happen and ways families can approach it.