What to Do if You Think a Loved One Has Dementia: 7 Steps Toward Diagnosis and Support

Noticing little changes in someone you love can leave you with a niggling sense that something isn’t quite right. Maybe they’re asking the same question repeatedly, forgetting familiar names, or getting a bit lost in conversations or routines. These small shifts can quietly stir a big question: could it be dementia?

If you’re feeling unsure, a bit uneasy, or just wondering what’s going on, you’re not on your own. There are some simple, gentle steps you can take to start making sense of things and find the right support.

In this guide, we walk through seven simple, supportive things you can do if you’re starting to wonder whether someone close to you might be showing signs of dementia.

1. Know the Early Signs

Dementia often begins with small changes that are easy to miss or explain away. Everyone has forgetful moments now and then, but if you’re noticing a few of these signs more often, it’s worth paying attention:

• Forgetting appointments, names, or repeating the same question several times
• Struggling to follow recipes, manage finances, or plan simple tasks
• Losing track of dates, places, or getting confused in familiar settings
• Finding it harder to judge distances or make sense of what they see
• Pulling back from work, hobbies, or social situations they once enjoyed
• Acting differently—more irritable, anxious, or just not quite themselves

You don't want to jump to conclusions, as sometimes things as simple as a urinary tract infection (UTI) can cause similar symptoms, especially in older adults. But if something feels off, this is often where the journey begins.

2. Start the Conversation Gently

Bringing up memory concerns with someone you care about can be incredibly delicate. You might worry about upsetting them, or feel unsure about how they’ll react. But starting the conversation early, before things become more difficult, is an act of love.

• Choose a quiet, unhurried moment when you’re both feeling calm
• Be specific, but gentle: “You seemed a bit confused yesterday when we were at the shops. Have you noticed that too?”
• Let them know you’re not making assumptions, just sharing what you’ve seen because you care deeply

You’re not trying to label what’s going on. You’re simply starting a conversation - one that could lead to more understanding, reassurance, and support for both of you.

3. Encourage a Visit to the GP

After you've opened up that first conversation, the next step is suggesting they see their GP. Sometimes these changes have a simple explanation so it’s important to check.

Seeing the GP is about understanding what’s happening, ruling things out, and making sure your loved one gets the support they might need. A GP visit can feel like a big step, but it’s often the gateway to understanding what’s really going on and getting some proper support in place.

A GP can:

• Rule out other causes of symptoms like stress, low mood, infections or vitamin deficiencies
• Carry out basic checks to assess memory, thinking and physical health
• Refer your loved one to a memory clinic for a more in-depth assessment if needed

This first visit can also start a paper trail, helping your loved one access the right support more easily down the line.

It can help to keep a short list of the changes you’ve noticed, and offer to go along if they’d find that reassuring. Knowing you’re there can make it feel a little less daunting for both of you.

4. Track Symptoms Over Time

Once you’ve seen the GP, it can really help to keep track of any changes you notice over the coming weeks. A simple notebook or notes on your phone is enough - just jot down things that feel out of character or seem to be happening more often.

This kind of record can:

• Give a clearer picture of what’s going on day to day
• Help professionals spot patterns or changes over time
• Support future assessments if your loved one is referred to a memory clinic

Note down when things happen, what was going on at the time, and how your loved one seemed to respond. You’re not writing things down to criticise. It’s simply a way to help others see what’s going on, so the right help can be offered when it’s needed.

5. Seek a Specialist Referral if Needed

If the GP thinks it’s appropriate, they may refer your loved one to a memory clinic. This doesn’t always happen straight away, and the process can vary a little depending on where you live, but it’s the next step towards understanding what’s going on.

At the memory clinic, your loved one may:

• Have further cognitive assessments to explore how they’re thinking, remembering, and communicating
• Speak with a dementia specialist, such as a consultant, nurse, or psychologist
• Be offered a brain scan, such as a CT or MRI, if it’s helpful in ruling out other causes or supporting a diagnosis

You won't get all of this in a single visit. The process often takes place over several appointments, and it can take a little while to complete. But by the end, if a diagnosis is given, you should have a clearer picture and a plan for what comes next.

The memory clinic team may also include other professionals, like occupational therapists or social workers, who can help with support planning and connecting you to local resources.

6. Begin Planning Ahead

If dementia has been mentioned, even just as a possibility, it’s normal to feel unsure about what to do next. But gently starting to plan before things feel urgent can make the road ahead a little clearer and less stressful.

Here are a few good places to begin:

• Set up a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) for both health and welfare, and property and finances. These don’t have to be the same person - your loved one can choose different people for each, depending on who they trust to make the right decisions in each area.
• Have open conversations while they can still express their wishes about what’s important to them, what brings comfort, and how they’d like to be supported.
• Think together about what kind of help might be needed in the future, and who in the family or close circle might be able to take on what.

You don’t have to work it all out at once. Just starting these conversations early can bring reassurance and give your loved one a real voice in their own care.

7. Access Support and Care

You don’t have to wait for things to get worse before asking for help. In fact, putting the right support in place early on can make life feel a lot more manageable for both your loved one and you.

Some types of support to consider include:

• Admiral Nurses, provided by Dementia UK, who offer specialist advice and guidance to families navigating dementia care
• Memory Cafés and local support groups, which provide a safe, welcoming place for both carers and people living with dementia to connect, share and access information
• Social prescribers, often based in GP surgeries, who can help link you with non-clinical local services like dementia-friendly activities, community transport or carers’ support
• Home care services, which can be introduced gently to help with day-to-day tasks, maintaining routines, and offering companionship, especially in the early stages

You can also ask your GP or memory clinic about what’s available locally. Support can vary depending on where you live, but there’s usually something out there to help you feel less alone.

Getting help doesn’t mean handing everything over. It means finding the right balance, so everyone feels more supported.

You're Not Alone

In 2024, nearly 1 million people in the UK are living with dementia—but many families are still navigating the early stages without a clear diagnosis or the right support in place.

According to recent figures, around 487,000 people in England have a formal dementia diagnosis, but many more are likely living with symptoms without one. Getting a diagnosis can open the door to support, but not everyone is reaching that point as quickly as they might need to.

If you’re concerned about someone, trust your gut. You know them best, and starting the conversation early can make all the difference. It can help your loved one stay independent for longer and make life feel less overwhelming for everyone around them.

There’s no need to do this on your own. Whether you’re just looking for some advice or think it might be time for a little extra support, we’re here to help calmly, kindly, and at your pace. Just get in touch.